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Last week left me feeling completely drained and defeated.

I failed at something. Not just "didn't do well", but literally failed. And it was something really important (like graduating or not graduating important). I've failed at lots of things, but never at art history. I don't really know what to think now... only that I remember why I have a sever love-hate relationship with grad school.

And (it doesn't need to be said, because it's always the case) I've been feeling totally lost in my classes - like, the dumbest one there. I guess I'm just not completely invested in school this semester...maybe it's due to the fact that I'm trying frantically to write my thesis; or maybe it's that I would rather watch a movie with the husband than think about school.

That really took the "happy" out of last week.

So you can imagine how pleasantly surprised when I came home after teaching my class on Friday to find Jantz all dressed up (in my favorite shirt of his) with surprise reservations to PF Changs (after a quick stop at a friend's birthday party). It was seriously exactly what I needed. It may have even been better than flowers (but don't tell him that haha).

Basically, this semester is proving to be the hardest. I just have to believe that somehow I'll make it through. If it wasn't for the class I'm teaching (I think I'm falling more in love with teaching by the week), I may not be able to make it through. It's nice knowing that what i want to end up doing is actually something I enjoy doing...it makes all this stress seem like it will be worth it when it's over.

Here's some more pictures of the wedding (that also happen to cheer me up). we've now passed the one month mark (woot). Jantz loves the picture of our rings:

flip flops

anyone who knows me knows that i do not wear flip flops. to me they're like the most awkward shoe creation, on and off. i've never really owned a pair. ever. because i've never been able to stand them. 

until recently.

now i keep seeing them and thinking, i really want a pair. they look so cute.

and of course this happens now that fall is starting and soon it will be too cold to wear such things...maybe that's why I want them, because I know I can't really have them.

so, flip flops, you almost won the fight this summer. maybe next summer?

some more pictures...and updates

Gosh it's been a while...things have been super busy these past couple weeks. To name a few...

Our apartment flooded (thank goodness we have two floors, we've been able to hide upstairs most of the time). We're going on a week and a half and it's in the process of being fixed, but so far the downstairs is pretty much unusable, meaning the living room (and our beautiful new couch and tv stand) and the kitchen (which equals lots of going out to eat). It's been really stressful and a huge pain, but we're trying to just take it all in tow and be excited for our new walls and carpet.

I started school and taught my first class (all by myself). I won't lie, it was scary. but really fun too. I just hope I can keep up with it... as for taking classes, I only have two this semester (and then two thesis classes next semester and then i'm all done. whoa), so I'm looking forward to a lighter load than last year. but I'm also setting a goal of one page a day (during the work week) towards my thesis. That way when December comes around, I'll have it all written out, and I'll just need to edit and revise. Our deadlines for thesis defending are like in January...meaning I need have it done by the end of this semester. yikes is all I have to say about that.

On a much happier note, Jantz found out some (possible) great news about work, all of which will hopefully pan out. It would make both of our lives a lot better :)

Here are a couple more pictures (once again by Jessica) from the wedding. Mostly set up stuff and then my dad walking me down the aisle. towards a teary-eyed future husband. precious.

and then we were married

It's been one full week since Jantz and I became husband and wife.

And it's been the best week of my life (and I'm not just saying that haha)

We have been so busy trying to put our apartment together (love that we can finally call a place "home"!), Jantz working nights, taking care of random bills, and cleaning up all the messes I make (I can't deny it, sometimes when I try to clean I end up with a bigger mess than I started with), me trying to study for a comprehensive exam that I have to take tomorrow morning, and trying to get all of my preparation work done for the class I'm teaching that starts next friday (which i'm super excited for!...that is if I can get everything put together in time...).

So until things clear up a little bit, here are a few pictures from our wonderful day :) Our photographer, Jessica, was just amazing! Absolutely loved her! She was so sweet and captured so many great moments (like during the ceremony when I didn't know what to do with my right hand, so it looks like i'm picking a wedgie. you just can't pose that haha). but really, she was a doll and did an incredibly wonderful job. I'll post some more in the next few days :)

and here's hoping for just as beautiful a reception in Utah this Saturday as there was last Thursday in Colorado.

a lost post

I was just glancing through drafts that i've never posted. and i came upon this. i honestly thought i posted it....but clearly i didn't. I wrote it in December of 2010 (the middle-ish i believe). And, it kind of fits in perfectly with the wedding coming up. It's hard to believe I wrote this so long ago, because i still feel the same way, only way more :)


about one year ago jantz and i were sitting in my car talking. and he decided on this moment to tell me he loved me. when he got up the courage to tell me he loved me. i cannot tell you how excited i was to say it back. it was a scary feeling i thought i recognized, but this time it was different. it was so much better. and the year that has followed has only made manifest over and over again how very special and amazing love is. and how very special and amazing he is. he has, time and time again, exceeded my expectations. he had to work extra hard to get me on the same page he was; i was sure he was just like every other guy.

i'm so grateful for his love. he truly is my very best friend. i swear he knows me better than i do. he's so observant. really, he remembers everything. i'm grateful for his ability not to judge people at face value. he really does have an amazing perspective on life. he knows what's important and he knows when to make a big deal of something and when to just let things go. we're both still learning. every day i think. but we always have each others back.


people can talk all they want, but i just can't deny how much better my life has been since he has been a part of it. I've learned so much about myself, and about what life is really about. of course i've made lots of mistakes, but it has only worked to make me better. we've definitely had our share of hurdles, but honestly, it has only made us grow closer, not farther like i think a lot of people would prefer.

on to the important things, like how he got me addicted to lifesaver mints (the green bag) and raised my affinity for reeses. oh and how i now own sweatpants (he helped me pick out my first pair). and of course the ever-growing love of new places to eat, like on the border and taco bell (just because he loves mexican food and looks like a mexican does not mean that he is one....although sometimes i wonder).
all the hours on the phone and all the money put into being able to see each other. it's all priceless to me. I know i can't live off of love, but i certainly can't live without it.


looking back to this day so long ago, after going through so much, it's fun to reminisce about the time when we were so innocent - we had no idea what life was going to bring us. we were just two kids who became friends and then wanted more. we didn't know what saying "i love you" would amount to a year later. all the hard things we would go through. all the fun times we would have. how much our love would grow through it all. the changes and moves that would be made so that we could be together. we just didn't know. i don't know where i'm going with this.... all i can say is that i love him so much more than i did (or even thought possible) in December of 2009. and i even love him more than i did when i wrote this, last December.

so busy this is all i have

Who knew the week before your wedding would pass by in a blur and leave you so busy you barely have time to go to work?

I seriously cannot believe it's already Wednesday! What happened to Monday and Tuesday?

So far, I've packed up all my things and moved (most of ) them into our new place. Our beloved new place that didn't fall through! It's going to take some getting used to, not having granite countertops and an elevator to take me up and down to underground parking (not to mention the lack of bugs in my room). But this new place will work too.

Tonight is my lingerie party (hosted by two of my amazing bridesmaids and roomies). I'm not going to lie, I'm really excited :)

Oh, and I found out last week that I'll be teaching a class in the fall! Which is both terrifying and so wonderful. I just hope I can find time to prepare before school starts!

two weeks

two weeks

from this moment

I will be a married woman

hiding away in the colorado mountains

with my brand new husband


Things have been extra rough these past couple weeks, and I feel like I've been extra sentimental. While everything is certainly whipping past me at lightning speed, it is slowly (but surely) making its way through my mind. like it's trying to remind me to remember and cherish these moments. these last few weeks of being just Ali.

Some days I feel like my whole world is going to change once we're married (change freaks me out sometimes). and that's a pretty scary thought. But it isn't really (going to change, that is). Because I will still be me. And Jantz will still be Jantz. And we'll still love each other just as much (if not more). We'll just be "Jantz and Ali" from now on. and we'll live in our own house. with our own things. and we'll still go have fun every weekend.

I've wanted to be Jantz's wife for so long, and I can't wait for these two weeks to pass so that it can finally happen.

Song of the Week: Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. 

This song is so touching. And this band is one of our all time favorites. 

We're seeing them in concert on our honeymoon :)

and one more year has passed

Monday Jantz and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

That's right people. TWO years. whoa.


Thankfully we remembered on Saturday so we were able to go celebrate at our favorite anniversary place, Cheesecake Factory (which also happened to be National Cheesecake Day, meaning half off cheesecake, so, score us).

For some reason we've decided to get wedding presents for each other (even though we don't really know why this tradition exists or what the presents are supposed to be. I already bought Jantz's, which is record present buying time for me). And since our dating anniversary corresponds pretty well with our wedding day, we decided we would just do the wedding present thing a few days before the wedding.

So Monday rolled around and we exchanged brief "Happy Anniversary's" in the morning, but otherwise I was so busy all day. Luckily I ended up close to a Chipotle around 9ish, so I got Jantz's favorite burrito (and got it completely right, which is quite the feat). Chipotle is a 30 minute drive from us, so the fact that I was close to one meant I had to get him a burrito.

And that was his unintentional anniversary present. haha. I put it on the table so he would see it first thing (pretty romantic I know).

But that boy, he's the sweetest. He showed up with a rose and symphony bar (you know, the amazingly delicious one with toffee and almonds). It completely made my heart melt.

So, to my future husband: thank you for the past two years - they've been the best of my life - and I can't wait for the many many more, thank you for every single thing you do to make me smile every day, thank you for all of your sweet gestures (especially when i'm grumpy), and thank you for choosing me to be your wife. I love you.

invites and banisters

last weekend was spent writing, folding, stamping, and sending invitations. It was extremely fun and exciting, as you can see:

(PS, what do you think about this headband? I've wanted to be a bow-wearing kind of girl for quite some time now, 

but I'm still unsure that I can really pull it off)

Really though, I was pretty excited for this part - busy work is like my passion. Ok i wouldn't say "passion", but I am definitely all for it. Anyway, so far we've done about 520ish. And we wrote out every single address (ok except for like 75), which really wasn't that bad. I actually like the personal touch.

I would post them up here, but they fold and so it's kind of awkward looking at the front and back not folded...but trust me, they're awesome. Jantz's dad designed and printed them. He may be the most creative person I know (except for Jantz, of course :)


And THEN, a few nights later, we were walking to my apartment and Jantz casually tossed his keys up, thinking they would go over a big banister and come back down. He was wrong. they did not come back down. We ran upstairs and this is what we found:

And so, being the tough girl that i am, hopped over the railing to grab them - I wasn't even phased by the 20 foot drop or the fact that there was nothing stopping me from falling. I tell you - if this is any indication of how I would act when saving a person (not just a pair of keys), you will definitely want me to be the one saving your life. haha, ok now i'm getting carried away.

If you're wondering why Jantz didn't get them, it's only because I hopped over first. And it's probably a good thing, because getting back over the railing was not the most pain-free experience...

On a completely separate note, I'm getting my hair done today...which means any suggestions you give me (which I am asking for) will not be useful. I'm going to do some sort of coloring - probably just some blondish highlights (not hooker blonde, just normal romantic wedding blonde, if that exists). But what are thoughts on changing your hair color before the wedding? I don't want to look like a different person, but I do want to look my best (obviously).

Anyone have any fun weekend plans? We're going shopping for a couch, and finishing up some dreaded wedding planning (right when i think we're done, a million other things come up!).

Hawaii

So, ever since we've started planning this amazing wedding of ours, my dad continues to give us an offer:

forget all the silly planning and just go to Hawaii. get married, have a great honeymoon, and leave the stressful planning be.

And I must say, the more I hear it, the more appeal it has (although the little girl in me just has to have the big production).

but wouldn't it be nice? to forgo all that stress? all the worry about what kind of fabric to buy and what kind of food everyone will like? and just escape to a beautiful place, have a quite ceremony on the beach, and celebrate the love of two people?

So Hawaii: here's to wishing we were there in a month (and probably always wishing we had chosen you). but we have family and friends we want to share our day with.

don't fret, we'll be there soon enough (maybe even next Christmas)

our (real) place to call home (again)

Well, things worked out with our apartment situation (somewhat magically).

As promised, Jantz got right on it, making appointments to look at a few different places. By some miracle, he found some apartments right across the street from the one we lost that were available.

Same layout.
Cheaper rent.
Better management.
AND new paint and carpets.

We were pretty much immediately sold on it. So it all worked out :) and we still get our dream apartment (and it's even better than the other one!) Here's our new place:

revision

So, we lost the apartment.

our perfect dream apartment (well, as perfect and dreamy as any soon-to-be-married poor college couple can hope for).

so now we're homeless.

and stressing to the max (even though jantz has insisted that he take care of this and that i am not to worry about it. i can't help it!)

but of course there will be another apartment. there has to be. one that we love. and then that one will become our perfect apartment. and I'll be able to (again) tell you all about it.

that will happen right? in the next two weeks?

I sure hope so.

we have an appointment to look at one tomorrow. it won't be the same, but we're gonna try to keep an open mind.



....on a completely different and happy note (because I'm trying to focus on the happy things), we're getting our invitations tomorrow! Jantz's dad made them and trust me, they are gorgeous.

and last night, (previously mentioned bestie) Debbie helped me put together favors. while watching Gilmore Girls. it was much needed.

AND, lastly, I just looked at the calendar (we're not big on counting days so I had to check. haha) and in exactly four weeks we'll be married. and frankly, as long as that happens, I could care less where we live.

friendlies and flowers

a few thoughts on a couple weeks ago,

I got to hang out with a bestie from high school, Debbie, and her adorable baby on Wednesday. I wish I had had my camera, because that child is way too cute. It was so nice catching up and spending some quality time with a girl. it's sad that I've almost forgotten what that is like (but i guess that's what happens when you're trying to plan a wedding, work, and do an internship....and it doesn't help that spending all my time with Jantz is my most favorite thing to do haha). Anyway, girls are awesome. And I need to be way better about setting aside time to see my friends.

After a rough night and day, Jantz arrived at my apartment after work with flowers and a candy bar. It was the most perfect thing he could have done (most perfect works right? ha). It was the sweetest. Just another reason why I can't wait to spend my life with him. No he's not perfect (and neither am I), but when it really matters, he knows just how to help me feel like everything will work out.

a place to call home

We signed a lease on an apartment! Remember the apartment we went to look at last week? Well we totally loved it. It fit perfectly into our budget and it was bigger than what we were expecting to find.

Maybe we shouldn't show the world where we live, but oh well (I just won't tell you which side is ours. haha). It doesn't look like much, but the inside is the best part - it actually has two levels!

Now comes the task of pretending I know how to decorate. Despite my (not so much) vast knowledge of art history, actually making things look pleasing is not one of my strong points. Thankfully it is Jantz's, so you better believe I'm going to rope him into helping decorate our new place (just like I roped him into marrying me ;) .....ok so maybe that one was his idea...)

We're getting ready for a busy day tomorrow. First we get to pick up Jantz's bonus check from work (woot woot) and then we'll be off to see Harry Potter (so excited) and THEN we're going to spend the day at Lagoon for Jantz's work (which will be super fun). then perhaps a stop in Layton at our fave pizza place (you know, the one that was so rudely closed on the 4th?) so we can finally get our fix.

cuz baby, you're a firework

Here are some of those special pictures I tried taking of fireworks from the Stadium of Fire over 4th of July weekend...

 

Every year for the 4th of July, both Jantz and I have always had plans (apart and together) with either family or friends, but this year, we had no such plans.

So we made our own special day. It started off, naturally, with Jantz playing some FIFA (while I did some wedding registering haha. ok I played one game)

After he won every game, we took off for Layton. One of our favorite pizza places is up there, it's called Ligori's. It is seriously the best pizza. So delicious. I was so excited for it.

So of course it was closed (who didn't think to check if it was open on the 4th? yeah...both of us). We were really bummed, but instead of letting our drive go to waste, we found a really good chinese place. In case you haven't noticed, we're pretty serious about our food.

Then we went to a Bee's game in Salt Lake. It was really fun. Good game. Good snacks. And a really awesome fireworks show at the end. And we were so close to them (sometimes being the farthest away from home plate can have its advantages). It really turned out to be a great day :)

reminiscing

I've been looking through a bunch of old pictures and I've realized two things:

1. I seriously miss Europe. I miss the places. I miss the art. I especially miss all the friends I made. I really want to print out all of my absolute favorite pictures from Europe and put them in a frame. Good idea? I think yes. (perhaps this would fit better as a goal post-wedding?)

 2. I seriously miss family trips. We took a big family trip to Mesa Verde a couple years ago. It was the first big trip with all of us as adults (except darling niece Izzy,

she gets to stay a child forever). And it was so much fun. I'm praying real hard for another trip sometime soon.

the big CO

Our week in Colorado was so much fun. Here is a "documentary" in pictures :

The beginning of our drive

 

 

 our treats and drinks

our stop for gas (Jantz makes funny faces)

(he also does a grand job of cleaning the windshield)

 

(bear with little rock poops. too random not to take a picture)

 at Parker Days parade

(Jantz with his buddy Kevin. We had just gone to the doctor that morning, so the bandaid is protecting his poor biopsied noggin)

(the old ladies in the parade and Jantz's adorable nephew on the right)

We went to one of our favorite places, Guadalajara

(I caught this gem while Jantz was taking pictures on his iPhone 

- you know, the app that morphs your face. so priceless) 

the main event, Larke's graduation!

(these were some of the boards she had to make, it was very impressive :) she worked so hard to graduate and it was so great being able to see all her hard work) 

graduation day Rockies game

 (us with his brother Rhett)

so...on our way home Monday morning we ran into a snow storm in the mountains (SNOW, in the middle of JUNE! and not just a little sprinkling...it was like February up there!). we were pretty much speechless (of all days!). the roads were so icy and wet - there was major slipping and hydroplaning. so we pulled off into Silverthorne, informed our bosses that there was no way we were going to make it into work (who needs money anyway?), and hung out there for the day until things cleared up a bit. It was quite the detour, but it turned out to be really fun.

(here we are eating at the Pizza Hut. I knew I would forget what happened here, but I said something and this was the face I got. haha. my future husband everyone)

We did so much that I didn't take pictures of, but those were some pretty good highlights. We love being in Colorado, especially with Jantz's family. They were so great and so much fun! Hopefully we'll be able to make the trek out there again soon (you know, after the whole getting married there week in August :)

4 day week woot!

How was your 4th of July weekend?

Ours was pretty great :)

I tried taking pictures of fireworks. It was NOT easy. or successful. haha.

This week is already going slow - I want a weekend again! We're going to look at an apartment tomorrow that we're really excited about! so good thoughts that we'll like it as much as we want to :)

Things for the wedding just keep falling into place and getting done....which means minimal stress right now (at a time when I thought I would be going crazy with plans)...is this normal? It feels not normal.

cold

so, i wore shorts to work today for the first time this year (see, we're not usually allowed to wear shorts at work, only during spring and summer term). usually it's pretty chilly inside so i'm just fine wearing pants since i'm cold about 70% of the time anyway. but today is sunny and it seemed like a good idea for shorts.

so here i am at work. in my shorts. and i am cold.

thankfully i brought a jacket in (hoping i wouldn't have to use it - who likes to be the one wearing a jacket in the middle of summer?), so that's been keeping me warm.

that's all i wanted to say. I'm cold. (well, that and i got up on time again this morning, yay :) so excited for a warm three day weekend!

Morning :)

Just wanted to drop in a little update that

YES

I did wake up when my alarm went off this morning (ok I may have let one snooze go off...but that's better than the usual who knows how many).

Even though I am little more tired today, it sure felt good to get to work when I planned to (our building has been oddly shaky all day).

Here's to another good morning tomorrow :)

And here's a little "song of the week": Dierks Bentley, Come a Little Closer. I still love his voice. and his name.

maybe next time I'll talk about CO....

I keep postponing writing another post until I can upload all of my pictures from Colorado and write all about that....but that keeps not happening. obviously haha.

So, until that happens....I will tell you all what has been going on. It's short, trust me.


-I taught an Art History 111 class last night as a sub for one of my friends in the program. Let me tell you, I was so nervous, but afterwards I was so excited to teach my own class this year (whenever that will be...). Talking about art always makes me excited (just ask Jantz who had to listen as I did a quick run through of the lesson).

-I've been terrible at getting up in the morning. Like, really bad. I LOVE sleeping. Love it. And when my alarm goes off, I literally think of every excuse to NOT get up (and I'm reallllllllllllly good at excuses). And sleeping in means I get into work late, and that means less hours, which equals less money, which is no good. So, I'm making a goal for the rest of the week to wake up when my alarm goes off. Think good waking up thoughts for me ok? haha

-Wedding planning is coming along. we found a great photographer for Colorado and I'm so excited to have her photograph our wedding! Jantz is finding us a cute little place to call home. Overall, I'm not feeling super stressed.

-I'm going looking for fabric after work today.....to tie around chairs and around trees. I'm thinking Joanns, but anyone else know of a good, cheap place to shop for fabric/ribbon?

That's pretty much what's been going on. Jantz and I are excited to see the new Transformers this weekend. And we bought tickets for Harry Potter (wow how nerdy do we sound?). My next post will have pictures. it has to.

school

today was the first day this summer that i thought,

i miss being in school. i'm excited for fall to start.

thankfully that only lasted for about 2 seconds.

Let me be clear that I definitely do not want school to start again because I am so ready to be done. for it to be next summer. So I can have a masters, and find a great job. and so that Jantz and I can move to a different state and start another fun adventure.

Here's to no more silly thoughts about school starting....at least not until the end of August :)

a week of no blog reading equals so many new posts i can't even count

....so basically this week will be spent catching up on all i've missed :) 

Vacation

Friday morning Jantz and I made the 8 hour long drive to Colorado for his sister's graduation (from fashion school - if it wasn't for her I'd probably still be wearing baggy pants and t-shirts). And we're staying for 10 days! We are so excited for some nice time off to relax and hang out with his family. I've even been taking pictures! we'll see how long that lasts....haha.

Here's some fun things we've already done...

We went to Parker Days (which includes a parade and a fair that goes all day with booths and rides and everything) and hung out with Jantz's friends most of the day.

Jantz (finally) bought an iPhone (he's been talking about it for like a year!) and he's so excited about it. and as he should be. he works hard and he totally deserved it. (and we already worked it into our budget - yeah, we've become those people - so we didn't even have to stress about money).

We went to a really good (and spunky) skin doctor because Jantz has had a red spot on his forehead for way too long and we need to figure out how to get rid of it! They ended up having to do a biopsy and he was such a trooper. His mom and I tried to watch but it was rough. He got two stitches in his forehead. Everyone keeps making fun of him, but I think he looks cute and I still love him :)


Jantz keeps talking to me in a Russian accent telling me to go shower......so I better go

licorice

If you're thinking of buying me some licorice (or jelly beans), you will instantly be my favorite if you make sure it's black. Honestly, it is the only way to go. I only know a few people who will even touch black licorice, one being my father, who I actually blame for much of my food taste, at least when it comes to candy (anyone had horehound? yeah, we love it). A few years ago the parents didn't purchase Easter candy until way too late, which meant a lot of weird candy that no one else wanted. You would think I would be very disappointed, as I love robin eggs (which we had none of). But a lot of the candy no one wanted was black jelly beans. So.....pretty much one of my favorite Easters ever.

moral of the story is: black licorice is the best

wedding updates

So, we've been engaged for three weeks. It's seems so much longer. and yet so much shorter. haha

We finally set a wedding date: August 18th (yes, of this year & yes a Thursday).

Now, I've always wanted to be engaged for at least 6 months. but when it came down to it, it was either next April or this August (no winter weddings for me, and definitely no wedding planning during grad school!). So, three months it was. haha. I have no idea if I can get everything done by then, but knowing that we'll finally be married is all I can really think about. We're beyond excited!

Jantz has been the biggest help (which isn't surprising, but I still like to brag about him :). I was starting to stress out about getting everything done (enter: me trying to do everything on my own with no help because i can do it best). I never realized how much of a control freak I am until now. So I've been trying to correct this and trust other people to help out (and who better to trust than my trusty fiance?). Jantz swooped in and now has full control over some pretty important parts (ie, finding us a place to live). I must admit, it feels pretty great letting things go :)

On to other details...

We're getting married in Colorado in Jantz's parents' backyard (which is going to be beautiful, by the way) with the reception there as well. Then we're jetting off to a cabin in the mountains for our honeymoon. The next Saturday we're having an open house in Utah (the day after my big Comprehensive Art History Exam. fun).

So, things are slowly getting done...

Like, I bought my dress (which I am so in love with) and it is in the process of alterations. I have tons of pictures I want to share, but on the off chance that Jantz actually looks at this blog, I'll hold off :)

We picked up my ring on Friday. It is so much more amazing than I pictured it. I seriously can't stop looking at it (it's getting a bit pathetic...). Here are some pictures:

Yep, I love it