Into the Depths

Ok, so I was just in a work meeting with all these people. We only have the meeting every other Friday, but we always have pizza and drinks and such - because my work is awesome. Today someone brought cookies - which were delicious by the way. They had chocolate chips AND little M&Ms and they were chewy and just, mmm. Anyway, so here is a play by play of how things went down...

-finish eating pizza, being very careful to take small bites and not look like a complete pig.
(note 1: for some reason I hate eating when I know that people could be looking at me. I just think I look weird when I eat - especially when it's pizza - so I just get awkward and probably draw even more attention to myself. anyway, just a little fact about me haha).

-wipe my face with napkin.

-quickly jet out of the room to get my water bottle because I'm parched.

-sit back down, remember that I have half a cookie left. yay for me.

-break a piece of cookie off (note 2: because of said eating issues, I tend to break things into pieces so I can just shove the piece in my mouth instead of biting into it and having more problems and maybe even get food in my teeth...end note).

-take small piece and put it in my mouth

-while the piece is going into my mouth (slow motion starts about now), whoops I think a chocolate chip fell. Oh wait, I think I felt it hit my chest...below where my shirt starts. I certainly hope it didn't go down my shirt haha, that would be funny...not.

-frantically searching for chip around my seat and lap...while keeping a collected cool and jotting down a few more notes so no one thinks I'm up to something.

-no luck finding chocolate chip anywhere around me. Face frightful conclusion that it has traveled down my shirt into unknown territory.

-look around me to see if anyone saw what just happened....no one looks alarmed

-realize that the meeting is only half way over and I've already left once so I can't just leave again without being extremely impolite.

-accept the fact that I'm going to have to sit here while a small piece of chocolate melts inside my shirt.


So, there you have it. haha. I can only just imagine, if in fact anyone did see what happened, what that person must have been thinking. If I had seen such a thing I would have been laughing for sure.

Blinkity Blink

Ok so I finished this book a while ago, but I forgot to post about it.

I loved this book. It was so interesting. I think everyone should read it. It's definitely an eye opener.

Oh, and in case you don't know what it's about...it's about how we think, make split-second judgements, how we read people, how and why we make decisions.

Anyway, it's fascinating.

Song-of-the-Week: Unhappy by Thriving Ivory. First of all, I'm liking this band more and more. Secondly, I've become slightly obsessed with the site songmeanings.net because I love lyrics and thinking about the meaning of songs and such. Anyway, I think this is a really cool song.

Questions

I often think that people should be talking in questions. It just makes life so much more interesting....and hilarious.

Just a thought?

When?

Just a forewarning that this post isn't going to be very upbeat. I am just not having a good week. And I predict that the weekend is going be about the same.

The one good thing - ok there's two. The first is that my laptop is finally usable as of yesterday. I really missed it but it was actually pretty nice not having it because I used to be on it like all the time. So I'm going to try to only use it when necessary, because life is just better when you don't rely on technology as I so often do.

The second thing is that I have been staying the week at Deb's apartment, which has probably been the only thing keeping me from utter despair - ok maybe that's a little strong, I'm not that sad, but it sounds more dramatic, so I'm keeping it. I think the "not living with friends" thing is really starting to get to me. I miss my friends so so so very much. Don't get me wrong, I love my roommates to death, but they're just not the same as my besties.

Ok I'm adding number three to good things. I think this is the first week since I started working at BYU that I will have worked a full 20 hours. So, good for me.

I'm sure you don't want to know all the bad things...but I'll go over a few very briefly:

-I totally failed my Italian Oral Exam basically because of time.
-I probably failed my Italian quiz today even though I studied
-I might not get my job back if I go to Larke's for the summer, which just breaks my heart.
-To save you all from an extremely long explanation, I am extremely - and I mean extremely - confused concerning boys, which also is breaking my heart.
-Because I haven't had my laptop I have fallen very behind in research for all my papers.

Ok, I'm adding a fourth good thing just so I can think of something happy. Last night at Deb's we all slept in the living room and watched Alladin and Beaty and the Beast, two of my favorite Disney movies. It was great.

I just want to know when things are going to start getting better. Last week was so good, but it took a complete drop this week. And I really don't want next week to be the same.

Oh I almost forgot about the song of the week. I guess I'll choose Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. It's off her new album which came out this week. I haven't listened to all of it, but this song sounds good.

Friday is My day....I mean Nikki's day

Do you ever feel like you've been waiting so long for something to happen and then once the time comes you're like, oh, well, i've been waiting too long for this for it to be as great as it should be? .....just a something to think about haha.

Here are some thoughts in my head this early morning:

-I'm so tired. Like, collapse on my bed tired. Which is weird because it's not like I've been sleep deprived. But boy howdy do I want to go home and sleep right now. Too bad I'm responsible sometimes.

-This is definitely going to be the Italian quiz that get's dropped because I so have not sufficiently studied for it. And in one hour when I'm taking it, I will be reaffirmed of this fact. Or maybe by some strike of luck I'll do good on it. Hey, it's happened before...several times.

-Oh and the biggest woe of all is that my right earphone isn't working on my iPod. I'm pretty much devistated. It's just silent. So i only get sound from the left side, which just isn't up to par. And I just got them for Christmas. But i might have to buy new ones unless somehow I can fix them, and i have no idea how to go about that.

-Going to officially have a place to live in the fall. I haven't actually seen it though, so Debbie better be telling the truth that I'll like it or else!.....or else nothing will change and I'll still live there because, well, I just love Debbie too much not to.

-I really hope that I don't get stuck in rush hour traffic tonight. That would just ruin everything.

-it's Nikki's birthday!!!! woot woot woot. I'm so excited to see her tonight. Although this also marks the day that I am officially the youngest. And I have to wait 6 more months before I can join the pack again.

Song-o-the-week: hmm, this is a tough one this week. a wild card, if you will. How about Just Dance by Lady Gaga. When I hear this song I must dance. Something takes over and, friends, I just lose control. the end.

Sick Face

Wow it has been way too long since I last posted. But I have good reason. My dear laptop died last Sunday night, the 15th even, around 10:30ish is when I first noticed it was...struggling for life. It was tragic, let me tell you. I was devastated. However, after some visits to different stores, specifically an amazing PC store in Provo, my laptop was diagnosed that it needed a new motherboard and was promptly shipped off to HP to be fixed...for FREE. Now, originally after this first happened we thought I was going to have to buy a whole new laptop because to fix a motherboard costs like $600. I pretty much broke down and started freaking out. I mean, I don't have the money to buy a new laptop right now without doing some major savings damage. My amazing mother said that she would buy me a new one. I was so grateful for that, believe me. But then we found out that HP has had a lot of problems with my type of computer so they are fixing it for free. I don't know if I can explain the pure joy and gratitude I felt when I found this out. I mean, talk about a blessing from Heavenly Father. I was so worried and yet it all worked out, as He proves to me every time I get worked up over something. Just another testament to paying tithing and having faith.

The not-as-fun part is that I probably won't get it back until next week. Which means taking notes by hand, which is really not my forte. I mean, have you seen my handwriting skills? Not what I call "the best". But I'll survive. Even though I feel so lost without my laptop. For real. It's like my baby. I don't know what to do without it. It has my whole life on it. Oh! and the other best part of it is that I didn't lose any of my information! I know, fantastic right? I was so so so happy to hear that. So now all my stuff is on an external hard drive. woot.

On another note, I woke up this morning feeling like butt. I got hardly any sleep last night even though I went to bed early. My throat is really swollen, making it painful to swallow. And it hurts when I breathe. Pretty much my chest just hurts in general. And my mind is pretty hazy. Oh and my neck and back hurts too; like real achy. What is up with that? I wish I could just stay in bed and watch movies all day, but alas I have a test this week that I must study for; good thing I love Baroque art so it's more like fun rather than studying. And other things are looking up too. So, other than the fact that my body has decided to hate me right now, I'm generally pretty happy.

And speaking of happy, the forum today was amazing. Like, I loved it. If you haven't seen it, you should.

Al-dog's Song-of-the-week: Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk. I've always loved this song. It's a sweet one...I think that's all I've got to say.

you want more?

so...I made another blog. Not to replace this one of course. I just wanted a blog that I could write about other stuff. Like spiritual stuff or random thoughts, music stuff, lyrics I like, etc. Becca has one and I really like the idea. Maybe I'll get sick of it, but it seemed like a fun thing to do today, so I did it.

the address for it is ohthejoysoflife.blogspot.com

You can read it if you want, but I won't be offended if you don't.

In other news, I don't really have anything exciting. But I'm super excited for a three day weekend. I have so much to do.

I've been watching the Bachelor and it is down to the final 3. I watched the Bachelorette with Larke over the summer and the guy who "lost" is now the bachelor, and I just had to watch it. But one thing I hate about shows like this where people get kicked off is that I get so attached! And I fret over who I think should win, even though I have no control. But it's still fun to watch.

This Saturday is Valentine's Day. Need I say more? I have very mixed feelings this year about it. I'm excited to have a fun dinner with my amazing roommates and hopefully hang out with friends. But I really really don't want to think about the fact that I don't have someone who wants to tell me how much they love me. Because I think I'm finally ok with the fact that I don't have that. So I guess my goal for the rest of this week is to not think about that and to focus on what I do have and the amazing people I have in my life that do love me.

And since this is technically the second post this week, there is no song of the week. You're heartbroken I know.

Ok ok, I've been convinced.

Song-of-the-Week-number-2: In honor of said day of "love", I have chosen The Luckiest by Ben Folds. I just love this song, as I'm sure most girls do. Even though I don't have this yet, I just think of the day when I do have someone who loves me this much. And if that thought doesn't make me happy I don't know what will.

The Adventure of Awesome

Hmm

This week has been interesting, both good and bad.

The good, but really great, part is that I went to Idaho with Debbie and Nikki and Dani and Stephanie and Haley and lots of other cool people. I really really was not wanting to go because I had a horrible day on Friday. But I decided that my decision-making skills were kind of impaired because of it so I just went. And it was just what I needed. It was so much fun to just relax and chill and have funsies with my besties. It took us like 6 hours each way of driving. But Haley drove and there was no snow and we listened to awesome (and by awesome I mean super awesome) music and sand our hearts out and slept and ate. It was fantastic. I slipped on the ice somehow and it was pretty funny. But my left lower back still hurts, as does my left arm. And the back of my right hand somehow got little scrapes, which I'm sure will be gone by tomorrow. Deb and I almost finished a puzzle, but alas it did not happen. But I'm ok with it, even though I hate not finishing puzzles. Deb and Nik and Haley and I had way too much fun with the snow and pictures were a plenty.

I'm trying to just be happy, even when I want to be sad. So far it's pretty hard but I just miss laughing a lot and being really happy all the time. So I decided to just suck it up and be happy. Because, well, I think I'm pretty great when I'm happy. And I'm so sick of being sad about things. I can't change the past, so I just have to look forward to the future. And I'm planning on having an amazing future. So, here's a punch in the face to the sad stuff and a big chocolate kiss to the real good stuff.

Both of them say yes.

Song-o-the-Week: No Air by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown. But only because I think that was the song I heard most this weekend. And it's just so dramatic how can you not burst into tears when it comes on?

AweSomE bloSSom

So, I don't really have anything to post about. Today I find myself in a very good mood. It's kind of weird. I forgot this happy feeling. I quite enjoy it a lot. I just feel......good. And I don't know how long it will last, so I decided I should treasure all the great moments. Here are some things that are awesome right now:

-I have a delicious Cafe Rio salad awaiting me at my apartment and I can't wait to eat it!

-Yesterday I went to work, school, had a study session for Italian, studied for a test, took said test, on some struck of luck got taken to Arby's and didn't have to pay, did laundry, did all of my Italian homework, and was in bed before 12:30

-I was given an...I'll call it an opportunity/proposition...a few days ago that pretty much threw me for a huge loop and I was so very confused about what to do. But yesterday I made a decision and I feel real good about it, even though it might be not so fun to do.

-I know it say it all the time, but I really do have the best friends. I just love having friends that I can call and they just let me whine and complain and cry to no end (and also knowing that they can do the same), sometimes about things that should probably be so simple for me, but just aren't. Because that has been happening a lot lately and I feel so bad about it. But I appreciate it so much!

-My car is fixed and I still can't believe it! My dad is just the best. period. He spent so much money trying to get it fixed and I so do not deserve it. He never once said anything negative about it. I was the one trying to convince him that maybe it wasn't worth it. But he would hear none of it. And I just feel so lucky that he has been so willing to help me. Not just with my car but with tuition and study abroad too.

-My roommates are just too cute. They are youngins, but that is part of the reason I love them. They are always so happy and sometimes they focus on such silly things. It reminds of what those days were like. Not that I don't still have them every once in a while.

-I think I really like my classes this semester. They're all pretty different, and of course I don't always do so well with the homework, but I've really liked learning stuff.

-I actually understand my Italian teacher when he speaks. Last semester this so did not happen. I take this as a very good sign that I'm actually taking in the language.

-Speaking of amazing roommates, I think I'm going to move to Colorado with Larke over the summer and I'm so excited! It's not 100% for sure yet, but I'm going to plan on it I think.

-I am writing this blog at work. I think that leaves no explanation for how awesome my job is.

-I get to look at super cute/awkward pictures of my friendlies whenever I'm at work because I put up pictures of them.

-I just like music a lot and I have been having way too much fun with playlist.com. I listen to it at work and it's pretty much fantastic.

-I think I look pretty cute today. You should have seen me on Wednesday though, that was definitely a good day. So guess really this whole week has been a good looking week.

I guess I will give you a song of the week. let me think....ok

Song-o-the-Week: Do You Know (Ping Pong Song) by Enrique Iglesias. I wish I could explain more about why I chose this song but I have to go to Sitar performance like right this second. But someone made me listen to it today and basically I like it and even though, well, yes.

dear Food Network, oh how I've missed you

This past semester I haven't really had too much time to watch TV, specifically the Food Network. And I love the Food Network. Love. It.

And now I am currently watching a cake Food Network Challenge. And it is fantastic.

Some of my faves are the aforementioned show, Ace of Cakes, Throwdown with Bobby Flay, and Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives -this has currently risen to my number one I think.

I just love this channel. I guess it does make me hungry more, because of all the deliciousness that they show, but it is so worth it. I keep holding out hope that one of these days I will watch it and be inspired to start cooking more. Because I'm a slacker when it comes to cooking and I really want to cook more because it sounds so fun to me. I'm good at the baking part I think, but the cooking part is very sketchy. It has yet to happen, but I have the faith.

On a side note, my right knee has been having issues and I don't like it. I can't describe the pain, but it is pretty sharp and sometimes it hurts so bad when I walk down the stairs. It's like a piercing pain. But I think it's going away. So, in case you see me walking down the stairs like a crazy, now you know why.

I'm reading a book called Blink that my dad gave all the kids for Christmas. He has read it and pretty much raves about it quite often. So I was real excited that I got it. I'm a little more than halfway done with it and I must say it is fascinating. I will have to post about it when I finish. Then you can know all my feelings on it...maybe more than you want. haha.

Al-dog's Song of the Week: Unseen by Katie Armiger. I got this song free off iTunes a long time ago. I really like it. I think a lot of times girls feel this way after a breakup. Like, they didn't get themselves across the way they wanted. Or the guy missed out on who the girl really is because he didn't try hard enough. Which is why it's so important not to hold back when it really matters and, if you do, to learn and move on. Anyway, I got more into that than intended. But, it's a good one. quite catchy.

the big Zero Nine

So, I am usually one to make New Year's Resolutions, but they're never really serious ones. Just the usual lose weight, be happy, read my scriptures more. And this year I haven't even "made" any. I've thought about some stuff that I want to happen this year...so I guess that is what I'll write about.

I want to find happiness this year (not that I haven't been happy in the past, because I definitely have. But, more like, I'm fine with whatever happens in my life because I can be happy no matter what or who is in my life). And I think, or rather, I know, that the only real way to do that is through Heavenly Father. I read somewhere that if you ever want to really be able to love someone else, you have to be able to love God. To open up to him. To really get to know him. Make him your friend, your ally, your constant companion in everything - everything - you do. So I was trying to think of ways to really make that happen. I think it just comes down to improving things a little at a time.

As many of you have so nicely pointed out, I have somehow lost weight these past few months. And even though it wasn't intentional, I definitely approve of it and I like it a lot. So, I want to maintain this "healthiness" or whatever it is you want to call it. I like feeling good about myself. It's fantastic. I think something just clicked in my head. And walking to campus doesn't hurt either. I used to hate walking to campus. I dreaded it. But now I actually kind of like it. It is necessary to get to school and it's good exercise. And it's hard for me to actually make time for exercise, so this is like a built it system because I can't avoid it. So really, it's a win win situation.

I want to read more books and research more about things I've always wanted to learn about. Most of these things have to do with Art History. And for some reason I think I'll just learn everything in my classes. But this is just not the case. And I have all the resources handy to learn pretty much anything I want about a subject. So I want to take more advantage of that.

I want to stop worrying so much about other people and more about myself. Not that I want to be selfish, but with this whole decision-making problem. I know that the reason I don't like it is because it effects other people. What if they don't like my decision? What if they even reject what I want? I don't like feeling like other people don't like what I want...even though it is totally natural. I just don't like it. And so it's easier just to let other people decide. Because I'm usually pretty good at just going along with what other people want. But some changing needs to happen.

Like with boys. I always will do what they want. And it's not that I don't like it. Because usually just being with them is what I like, so I don't care what we do. And it's not like I'm sad that we're not doing what I want to do, because of the same reason. Or like, if I'm doing homework, but a boy calls and invites me to his apartment, I'm going to go, no matter if that means I have to stay up really late to finish my homework. There's no question. If he has time, then I have time. But I know that this isn't a good thing. My schedule matters just as much as the next person. And I need to stand up for my life and what I'm doing. If they are willing to wait for when I have time sometimes, then they are worth it.

This year started out amazing and then it seemed like it was suddenly all taken away, all in the first days of this dear new year. However, it also opened my eyes to the amazingness that is my life. I have a great job. I am studying a subject that I love, and am getting closer to graduation. I am surrounded by an incredible family who loves me to death. And my friends. Oh my goodness my friends. I will forever be indebted to them.

I think the thing that always loses me is that a year seems like such a long time. Committing to so many unknowns seems like craziness. So I just have to focus on one day at a time. For realsies.

New Year Song-o-the-Week: Let it Rock by Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne. Because, well, I think this year is going to rock.

Edumacation

Yes, it's true. School has returned, as I'm sure you've all realized. I was kind of dreading it, but honestly I didn't even think about it until late Sunday night when I realized I didn't even have a notebook to take to class on Monday. But I actually think that school will be pretty good this semester. I like my classes and I know people in all of them, which is very nice.

I love my major more and more every semester. So even though I'll probably go through all of this schooling just to end up with no money and no job, I least I can say I did what I loved. Maybe I'll feel different in a few years....

Thinking of school brought about memories of the good days when The Magic School Bus was my resource for knowledge. Not only did I love the show on TV, but I also had some of the books and would read them all the time.

Songs of the Week: You get two this time because I'm feeling extra musical this morning. The first is Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. I think I got this free on iTunes a while ago. And I loved it the moment I heard it. And I love it even more so now, even if it is a bit sad. The second is Holding Out for a Hero by Frou Frou. It took me a couple times of listening to this song before I realized that I really liked it. And I do really like it. And I think it's pretty pertinent right now.

Way Overdue

Yes, it's true, I didn't go to the library to drop off my 3 checked out books before I left for my dad's because the weather was so bad. They are due today. And I can't get logged onto my account on the internet because I think my card is expired or something dumb. So basically I won't be able to return them until like January 3rd. Sand news I know...Ok, I meant sad, but I had to keep sand because it is funnier.

But onto other things...like the crazy amount of snow that fell upon us this day. That was madness. There was like two feet of snow on the street! Jared came to pick me up from my dad's and after we walked out of the house, he literally ran back to his car while I tried to slowly step in this long strided footsteps, but mostly I just laughed so hard from watching him run that I almost fell so many times.

Um, not having anything to do is really weird. No work. No school. Today I slept until like 11, but then I stayed in bed until like 2. ok, I got up a couple times, but still. It's so nice to sleep in, but also kind of boring.

I can't believe Christmas is on Thursday. So crazy. It doesn't seem like it's time yet. But I'm so excited for my family to be together! And Christmas is just so much fun I can't wait. I pretty much love any holiday when my family gets together and eats and plays games. Presents are good, but I'm terrible with them, and really what I care about is just being with the people I love.

um, NIKKI IS MARRIED!!! I still can't believe it, and I'm so happy for her and Monte! So cute.

So, my roommate painted my nails a very dark purple (not black like some may tell you) on Thursday and I have gotten quite a lot of grief about it from pretty much everyone. I didn't choose the color, but I do like it. Maybe not the darkness so much, but the fact that I can even paint my fingernails now that I'm not working with food. I do fell kind of emo though, which I could never pull off, so I probably look like a poser, but too bad. The bad part is that I don't have any remover, but I do have more of the nail polish, so...unless I go shopping tomorrow, I'm retouching them.

Song-o-the-Week: I Believe by R. Kelly...I got this song free on iTunes. What do you think about it? It was recent, so I assume it is apart of the Christmas musicness. I don't know if I necessarily like it, but it does send a good message. I'm mostly just confused. Isn't R. Kelly some hot manly sex symbol or something? I don't actually know, because I don't keep up on all those R&B/rap singers. But, you know, I'm all for those tough guy showing their soft side, so more power to him I guess.

BABOOM

*I realize that Deb and I have the same blog title, but mine is for realsies.

and p.s. I should be studying for my Italian final, but, well, I'm not.

So, Saturday night whilst I was driving home from a fun day and night at Jared's house I happened upon some black ice down the hill on University Parkway going towards my apartment. First I started fishtailing, so I tried to correct it, but I couldn't get control and I swung one way, then the other, and the next second I remember being flung around. It wasn't until this moment that I realized I was going to hit something. I think the only thing I said out loud was something like, Heavenly Father Help Me. Then the back/side of my car hit the median.

I look up and I'm facing traffic - even though there really wasn't any because it was like 1 in the morning. And it took me a while to realize that I actually wasn't in a lane, rather I was past the line, but it still scared me to death. I see a car coming down the hill and my adrenaline kicks in full gear. Of course I think that car is going to do the same thing I did and is going to slam into my car, thus probably killing me. So I jump into the passenger seat, and then realize that really won't help me. So I get out of the car as fast as possible (the other car is long gone by this point). I know this probably wasn't the best choice, but I seriously thought another car was going to hit me. And going through multiple possibilities of how another car could crush and kill me, I jump over the median so I am on the side where cars are driving up the hill. When I was still in my car I dialed 911 and had been on the phone with them I guess the whole time, even though I only remember dialing the number, I don't remember being on the phone during this whole time.

Anyway, after thinking maybe i should have just stayed in my car, I jump back over the median and start going to my car. But then I look up and these two guys had parked there car on the right side of the road and were coming to help me. They were driving up the hill and saw me crash so they turned around to help me. They ask if I'm ok and one of the guys offered to get me a blanket from his car, but I honestly wasn't cold. At this point the lady on the phone was asking me exactly where I was on the hill, because it borders Orem and Provo, and heaven forbid she should call the wrong police.

Ok, so up until this point I hadn't cried at all. And, my car was gushing some sort of fluid. Anyway, then the guys said that maybe the fluid coming out was gas, so we started stepping away from the car. But then one of the guys went and checked and said it was just blue fluid. These guys were so nice; even though I was on the phone pretty much the whole time they were there, I don't know what I would have done without them there. I kept thanking them but I don't think they realize how much I appreciated them stopping.

Then the police came and made me turn my car around and park on the right side of the road. Which means that I had to start my car and then drive it. But the policeman pulled his car so he was blocking traffic so I could do this. I must admit, despite the terrible situation and my state, it was pretty cool. So then the policeman - who was really nice - asked my license and such. Then I remembered that I still had my old license (my new one hadn't come yet) and so I freaked out even more and started mumbling stuff to him about how it was old, but I had renewed it and it was just in the mail. But he didn't understand anything I was saying. I must have sounded ridiculous. Anyway, I thought he was going to give me a ticket for having an expired license, but he didn't.

So, while I was waiting in my car I called my dad. And, the moment I heard his voice, I started bawling. Somehow I told him what happened, and you guys I don't know how I have been so lucky in the parent department, but he was seriously the best dad I could have asked for during those moments. He told me I needed to relax and that it was all going to be ok. I kept saying how sorry I was for crashing my car and he just said that it would all be ok and I needed to stop worrying about it. He was so comforting. And it was so sweet. Every time I talked to him he kept saying, do you want me to come get you, I'll leave right now and come get you and take you home, I want you to be somewhere where you can just relax, I'm already up, I'll just come get you, I'm going to come pick you up, you need to just be able to relax, I can leave right now. I talked to him so many times that night, and every time he just kept saying this. It was just, I don't know how to describe it, it was so comforting, it was exactly what I needed. I told him he didn't have to though because I didn't want him to have to drive all the way down here and then all the way back. Even though I really did want to go out to his house. It was easier for my mom to just get me.

Oh my mother. She was freaking out more than I was, which drove me even more crazy. But she's my mom and she just loves me. But it's really hard for me when I'm trying to stay calm and other people are freaking out, which is what was happening, and so I got really frustrated. But I tried to just stay calm because I know it was just because she was worried about me. I was so grateful that she came to get me. I knew that she would take good care of me, because she always does.

Anyway, so the tow truck came and took my baby away and my mom took me home and I spent the night at her house.

Also, during this whole thing I kept thinking that I should call Jared and tell him what had happened because I was just with him and if something had happened to him, I would want to know. But I was not stable, so I wasn't sure if I should. But I finally decided to just call him. So I called his home phone (since he doesn't have a cell phone), but I forgot that their network had been down so their phone and internet wasn't working. So I left some sort of crazed message. Then I called his mom's cell phone, but she didn't answer, so I left another crazed message. (I really want to know what I said and how I sounded, because I don't remember any of it). So Sunday morning Debbie (Jared's mom) called me to make sure I was ok. Then she woke Jared up and told him so he called me. It was cute because he had just woken up and was all groggy. But he made sure I was ok. I was still in shock from it so I was pretty awkward. But this is all a side note.

I don't know what the state of my car is, hopefully we'll find out today. And I'm pretty sure I'll cry when I find out, because every time I think about it I get all teared up. But my dad let me borrow his old man car for now. But after Christmas break I'll have to figure out what to do if I don't get my car back. But that is for another post and at a later date. I'll try to get pictures. Sorry for this incredible longness. But thanks for the concerns.

Longest Week of My Life

So, this week seems like it's been the longest week of my life. I don't know why, but it has been maddening. Ok, maybe I might know a little reason why, but it's so ridiculous that I'm not going to tell you.

Finals are finally here though. And I'm very excited and also scared for my life. I am greatly looking forward for them all to be over, and so I'm ok with taking them. But I'm real scared because, well, that means a lot of studying, and we all know how I am with that - especially finals. I don't think I ever really studied for finals until last semester. I don't know how I have survived thus far, but I wish it would come back to me now. Mostly I'm just worried about my Contemporary Art test because it requires a lot of analyzing and thinking about things that I just don't fully grasp. But I think it will be ok. I am planning on studying for most of the day tomorrow and then the craziness begins with two finals on Monday, one on Tuesday, and then the last one isn't until Friday.

Um, my little step sister Julie had her baby yesterday morning at 7am! I still haven't seen her because she was having breathing problems because of fluid in her lungs. But she was doing a lot better today and hopefully she'll come home tomorrow. Her name is Kira and she looks real cute. I'll try to get some pictures so I can show you.

My job is pretty awesome. My boss, Mike, is hilarious and totally laid back. It's really fun. I work with all girls and we are quite the exciting bunch. I'll have to tell more stories about that later.

Speaking of jobs, Lisa from Shirley's called me today and asked if I would work tomorrow and all next week. I said yeah right, sucka!...ok, I didn't really say that. I was nice and told her I could only work Tuesday and Wednesday for a few hours. It will be real weird, but whatever.

Have I mentioned lately that I have the best friends in the world? Seriously, words cannot express the feelings of amazingness I feel towards all of you. The times that I have the most fun are pretty much always with you girls. I could get all mushy, but I'll save that for another time. Basically, I love you all terribly. And I miss you.

I must leave now to Becca's super cool Christmas Party, for which I made my 40/50 cookies. That's right, I am also super cool.

Song-O-the-Week: Don't You Dare by Namaskar. So, I came upon this song whilst listening to acoustic music on iLike music playlist on facebook. Random, I know. But I really like this song and I think you should listen to it.

pretty girl

Deb wrote a blog like this in September I believe and I started writing one of my own then, but forgot about it until I started writing my last blog, in which I mentioned finding this one...I hope you followed that, because I did. I also modified the rules because I am super.

My Age: In case you are saying to yourself, isn't Ali 21?, then clearly you have forgotten that September comes before November.

Places I've Travelled:

Places I want to travel to:

Favorite Places:

...i would also take on the couch cuddling
...watching of course

this is a museum...

Favorite Object:

Favorite Food:

Favorite Animal:

Favorite Colors:

Place I was Born:

well, really it was in Orem, but this picture is pretty

Place I live Now:

don't you wish you lived in this steamy vat of mystery?

Pet:
a.k.a.

Past Love:

Best Friend's Nickname: yes Debbie, I actually found this picture on a google search. you are now famous.

My Screen Name:

First Name:

Middle Name:

Last Name:

why did this guy pose with a We Buy Houses sign? He is ruining the Gardner integrity.

that's right. we are cool enough to have our own island. next, the world.

Bad Habit:

First Job:

Grandmother's Name:

College Degree:

What I'm Doing Right Now:

Honorable mention for best picture that wouldn't fit in a category:

Song of the Week: Pretty Girl by Sugarcult. I figured since this is the title of the post it should actually be apart of the post for real. I bought this song recently because I'm getting sick of all of my music. This one also gets stuck in my head and I've decided I like it. A lot.

In the Works

So, I started working on a blog several months ago and then forgot about it and I just recently remembered that I have it but haven't posted it yet. So I will get on that soon. Because it's a good one. I think.

Hmm...thinking of any updates. Well, as far as boys go, I have no idea what I'm doing. Which always seems to be the case. I think I'm just too picky, but I don't mean to be. But if I'm honestly not attracted or interested in someone, then why should I pretend? Then we just both get hurt in the end. But how can I say I want a boyfriend and then shoo them away when they're not what I want? I'm not saying that they are flocking to me, because that is so not the case. I'm just saying in general. I don't think any of that came out the way I intended it to....I like boys and I want one for myself. That's all.

Um....so Thanksgiving is this week and I'm so excited to hang with the families. both of them. very much. Like a lot. And for pie-making too. And because I don't have to work!!! that is the very best of all. I can actually be conscious during the holidays for the first time in two years. I am awesome.

I am officially done with papers for this semester! I turned my last one in on Friday. Now I just have one Italian test and then finals. So pretty much these next couple weeks are going to be very relaxing. I don't know what I'm going to do with my free time. Maybe I should study for finals.

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for being my friend. You are all so amazing and I love you dearly. I don't know where I would be without all of your advise and help. Anyway, don't mean to go all sappy on you, but I really do mean it.

And I know you all thought I had forgotten about the song-of-the-week, but I didn't, I was just....waiting to see if anyone missed it. Which clearly no one did. But I'm starting it again because I like it and I'm pretty much just writing this blog for myself it seems.

Al-dog's Song-O-The-Week: Grand Theft Autumn by Fallout Boy. I always get this song stuck in my head. So I finally looked it up and bought it. I am very happy with my purchase. So, score for me.

New Post = ! ! !

So, I know I need to write a new blog, but I don't know what to say necessarily. Other than MY FRIENDS ARE AMAZING, and by friends I mean all of you and by amazing I mean the super duper best ever. Ok, I guess then the sentence doesn't really make sense, but you get what i'm atalking about. Thank you all so much for helping with, planning, participating in anything that was my birthday. I had so much fun and it was all because of you amazing girls! So thank you all a lot again and again. I don't know if I deserved such a fantastic time, but I sure did have one.

I'm so excited that the worst part of my semester is pretty much over! I just have one more paper to write that is due on Friday and then I am free from crazy stressful weeks until finals.

So, how do you all feel about exclamation points? I almost used one after "finals", but then I didn't because I felt it wasn't really something I would exclaim! even though I am really excited about it. And I used one in the sentence before and I didn't want to seem like an exclamation point whore (is that too strong of a word?). Sometimes I feel that when I use one I'm a 15 year old talking about how hot some boy is, or just how much she loves lip gloss or something. But I suppose they are there for my use, so I shouldn't shun them, but I think maybe they have been abused. I can't help but think of the Seinfeld episode about this exact subject. Anyway, that was a long paragraph about nothing. I mean amazing incites. You feel enlightened now don't you?

Um, I guess I could say a lot more about life and such, but I don't know if really want to at this time....whatever that means.

Here's a picture from my birthday/early Thanksgiving:

I know, I'm adorable

Late for Class

Ok, I have to leave for class in like 5 minutes. But, um, lots of stuff has been going on. I started my job on Monday and so far it has been pretty good, a little boring, but good.

I've been listening to Conference on my iPod while I walk to school and yesterday I heard the most amazing talk. I don't remember who it was or what the talk was called but it was all about Christ and how we can choose to follow him and be saved or not follow him and not be saved. Well, he used better words that me, but it was such a great talk. Maybe I'll look up who it was; all I know is that it was in the Saturday afternoon session.

Anyway, I think one of my roommates has an eating disorder and we're really worried about her but don't really know what to do.

It snowed today and it was real cold. I did not like it. But it was nice getting to work and not being sweaty.

These next few weeks are going to be crazy with research papers and tests. So I'll be at the library pretty much almost every night this week. party party. But then it's my birthday and then I don't really have any big things due until finals. yay!

Oh, dang I really need to go to class, but first. I was thinking about maybe having a birthday party for myself on either Friday or Saturday night (of my birthday). Just like some food and music and maybe games and such. I would invite a whole bunch of people, but maybe they wouldn't come. So...What do you think?

Guess What?!

Chicken Butt

Oh wait, wrong answer...

I Quit My Job Today!

Yes, it's true. I've talked about it for ages but today I actually did it. I'm sure my boss will be calling me at any moment asking for my reasons, which honestly scares me to death and is the worst part of this whole thing. But, it's something I need to do and I'm hopeful and excited to find an awesome new job.

Speaking of, I have a job interview on Friday, of which I don't think I'm at all qualified for, but who knows, maybe I'll surprise myself.

I know a song-of-the-week (and a blog for that matter) is long overdue, but these past couple weeks have pretty intense and emotional, but very good things have come from the experiences. I might write a bit about some of them, but that is for another time.

Just wanted to express the excitement and scariness of changes. both good and bad, and sometimes both.