hold your breath....because I said so

So, I'm sure you're wondering why in the world would I decide to leave my dear Larke and the beautiful Colorado. Well, sadly, Larke and I have decided that me leaving is the best thing for both of us right now. You see, we have both acquired some....unwanted "baggage" of, say, about 5+ pounds each, since I've gotten here. I don't think I need to emphasize the seriousness of this issue. How will we ever be able to find happiness in our lives if this continues? There is just too much at stake. So, the decision was made that I must leave so as to save our happiness, and, let's face it, our lives.

And if you believed any of that then you should be ashamed of yourself. We're not that shallow...most of the time. But for reals. I haven't been able to find a job and as nice as it's been not having to work (it's been fantastic, by the way), my chances of surviving college with no money are, well, slim to none. And I feel good about going back. I'm not sure why, since I don't really have much to look forward too in Utah for the rest of the summer, but I've got the faith, and that's all that matters right? So, I'm going back to my amazing BYU job (and you better believe i'm taking the stairs) and hopefully I'll be living at my dad's in the good ol' Eagle Mountain, sleeping in a bed all to myself, not my own bed, of course - that was disposed of long ago, but a bed all for myself nonetheless :)

Can I just say that I miss my family? I honestly didn't think I would get homesick, and I didn't really. Until this last week. I miss my mom (especially her hugs, as previously noted). And I miss my dad (and his hugs, they're amazing). It's sad knowing that I'm missing family parties and birthdays and stuff. Two months is not a long time, I know, but it was a good glimpse.

With all that said, I'm going to miss Larke so much! and her family. they are amazing (have I used that word too much in one post?). they have been nice to let me live in their house and eat their food and lounge about with no care in the world (me, not them). I'm sure they'll be glad to be rid of me. haha. They are hilarious. I laugh a lot. Jantz (larke's little brother) has been my entertainment when Larke's at work or school. He's hilarious. and a punk at the same time. so basically like the little brother i never had (....until of course i got 4 little brothers).

I love living out here - my dad and stepmom would LOVE it. seriously, they should move out here, there is no other place out there this perfect...well, ok, if it didn't snow here, then it would be perfect.

I'm gonna miss shopping for clothes (with money I don't have), going out to eat (with money I don't have), watching movies (those are free...usually), dvr-ing countless tv shows (of which I have now become addicted to - the tv shows, not the dvr...ok a little bit the dvr), watching csi for as long as my heart desires (also courtesy of dvr), eating larke's brownies (they are THE best), not holding back comments (which are always meant to be funny of course and result in me laughing - sometimes i say funny things ok? there's no one else i can do such things with), trying to fall asleep after larke has reached her "slap happy" state and won't stop laughing, thus making me laugh, which equals less sleep for her (not for me, I sleep until whenever I want...which is always 9 for some reason), and, well, just hanging out with larke doing whatever (like writing this blog while she writes a talk for church tomorrow-and the inspiration for the title of this post. yep i'm going to miss even these moments), and countless other things which i'll withhold, from this post at least.

I'm only a little sorry this blog was so long. But honestly, if you really count me as a friend then you'll have suffered through it. Although if you would use the word "suffer" then maybe we shouldn't be friends...

Song-of-the-Week make up: I don't think i did one last week - because i'm a slackface. so here it is: Ain't No Sunshine by Kris Allen. I know, I know, another one! But this one is only a tribute because he won! I was shocked. shocked! he's my fave, but Adam was better and I think he deserved it more to win. But alas, that was not the case. I'm super excited for his cd to come out. So, enjoy my dears!

oh and ps, i'm going to post pictures if not tomorrow then for sure on monday, so, mark your calendars. ha!

Wet

I wish you were all here right now. It is pouring rain. Like, pouring. and it is so beautiful. I should really be out there right now dancing around. I love rain out here. It's not like Utah rain; it actually stays for more than like 10 minutes. Sometimes it rains half the day. I love it. I'm going to miss it. and Colorado for that matter. Oh, I guess I should confirm that I am, in fact, coming back to Utah like planned in the middle of June, the 18th is the plan. I'm excited to be back home, and you better believe you're going to be seeing me! but boy am I going to miss this place. It's been so much fun.

My camera batteries are charging right now, but when they finish I'll try to put up some pictures of the past few weeks...unfortunately none from the amazing rain because of previously mentioned batteries.

photo-less

So it's kind of ridiculous that i've been here for almost a month and i still have no new pictures. i'm sure you're disappointed, because i certainly am. i wish i could tell you that my camera isn't working or i lost a vital piece of it, but i can't because that would be lying. i should have so many pictures to show off, but i have zero...unless you count pictures of just me, then i have a lot haha, but no one wants to look at those but me. So this post is a promise of more pictures to come.

Also, i love my mom. and frantic 30 second phone conversations. and talk of gilmore girls. especially when the three are combined.

Hot Fudge

Ok, so I forgot that I planned to write another blog this week....so here it is haha.

Some updates...I talked to my boss at BYU and he is a-okay with letting me stay here all summer and for sure on letting me still work in the fall, which is just fantastic. All I need to do is find a job, which will ultimately be the determining factor. I've applied for a couple already. I just really hate looking for jobs and I honestly really don't want to get a job, so the motivation factor is certainly getting in the way. But I know I have to, so I'm trying real hard to want it to happen. Along with the staying business, I think that I'm going to have to cut out pretty much all my traveling...well, mostly. I'm 100% for sure going to daisy's wedding and my family camp thing in August. I'm pretty sure i'll be going to San Diego with Larke, although it might cost too much, we'll see. Anyway, I'm really bummed I don't get to do the other stuff, like a lot. But oh well, I guess that's life. You have to have money if you want to do it all. But I'll see Stevo in two years and my family will still be there with more family reunions to come in the future.

Larke and I went to eat at Cheesecake Factory tonight. It was delish, as always. but this time instead of getting what I always get, I got orange chicken. and let me tell you, it was amazing, exactly what i was in the mood for, perfect. (and i made the decision really fast, which never happens) and then I got the brownie sundae cheesecake (because how on earth can you go to the cheesecake factory and not get cheesecake? i mean really). I've wanted to get this one for quite some time, because, well, i love love love hot fudge, but for some reason i just haven't. so i got it (i know, a night of risk taking, haha) and it was so so good.

So, good times. I do miss lots of people though, especially my mom's hugs.

Song-of-the-Week: Heartless by Kris Allen. I know I know, 2 Kris Allen songs in a row? but really, i love love (man i'm on a roll with the double words tonight haha) this song, especially when he sings it. he's my fave. i have bought so many of his songs off iTunes, it's kind of ridiculous, but i just can't help myself. Kanye's version is pretty fantastic, but, well, so is this one.

Decisions

Whoa, it has been a real long time since i've written anything. I've been thinking about maybe staying here for the whole summer. There are so many things in the air, but I really want to stay. However, that means I would have to get a job. And, there are so many things going on this summer that if i stayed, i would have to choose what to go to, since travelling isn't all that cheep. Here's the fun things going on:

May 31: Stevo, basically our 7th roommate at the Glenwood (and our fhe dad) has his farewell in California. I really want to go because my roommates will be there and I didn't say goodbye to him before I left, which is just not allowed. If I go, I would fly to Utah on the 28th, drive with two of my roommates on Friday to California, then leave on Monday to Utah, and fly back on Tuesday. If I don't go, I can always wait until his homecoming in two years. And of course I'm going to write him on the mish.

June 19-20: Family Reunion with Steve's family at cabins up in Heber. I love family get togethers and so of course I want to go to this, but my mom said that if necessary, I don't have to go. I wouldn't be that heartbroken if I didn't go, but it would be fun. If I went, I would probable fly in Friday morning and then fly back Sunday. It's also my dad and sister's birthday that week, so I would probably be able to see them, which would be nice.

July 8-13: Larke's friend is getting married in San Diego and she wants me to come with her so she can have a friend. It would be way fun to go. And on my way back I could just fly to Utah for Daisy's wedding.

July 14: Daisy's wedding. Of course I am for sure coming to this no matter what, definitely wouldn't miss it. If I stay here and go with Larke to California, I'll just fly from there to Utah and then on the 15th I'll fly back to Colorado. If I got a job, I would have to make sure I had this time off.

August 13-18: Family trip with my dad. I'm so excited for this one and of course I'm going no matter what. We're going to some place in Colorado to go camping. There are like cave ruins and stuff. If I stay here I will probably meet up with my family for the trip and then go with them back to Utah when we're done.

So...if I do stay. Then I'll only have a job from like June to the middle of August, with a week break in between. So that's like 2 and 1/2 or 3 months. It isn't very long, but I think it's long enough to have a job of some kind. If I come back to Provo, I won't really have to worry about all the travelling business and I can probably go to everything. Really, it mostly comes down to money. It's probably like 200 a trip, so with 3 trips that about 600. I definitely don't have enough for that.

Then there's of course the matter of my job at BYU. When I left, it was understood that I would be able to keep my job in the fall if I came back for summer term. So, I'm going to talk to my boss again and see what he says. If I can't keep my job there, then I'll have to decide if it's worth it to let it go and have to find another job for two semesters when I get back.

I just don't really know what to do. I really want to stay, and I'm leaning more towards that. I don't really have anything pulling me to come back to Provo other than my job. There's other things that come into play, but I figure if I decide I should stay, then the rest will work out.

I know that was a lot, but I needed to dump some of what's going on in my head.

Any thoughts?