I was just glancing through drafts that i've never posted. and i came upon this. i honestly thought i posted it....but clearly i didn't. I wrote it in December of 2010 (the middle-ish i believe). And, it kind of fits in perfectly with the wedding coming up. It's hard to believe I wrote this so long ago, because i still feel the same way, only way more :)
about one year ago jantz and i were sitting in my car talking. and he decided on this moment to tell me he loved me. when he got up the courage to tell me he loved me. i cannot tell you how excited i was to say it back. it was a scary feeling i thought i recognized, but this time it was different. it was so much better. and the year that has followed has only made manifest over and over again how very special and amazing love is. and how very special and amazing he is. he has, time and time again, exceeded my expectations. he had to work extra hard to get me on the same page he was; i was sure he was just like every other guy.
i'm so grateful for his love. he truly is my very best friend. i swear he knows me better than i do. he's so observant. really, he remembers everything. i'm grateful for his ability not to judge people at face value. he really does have an amazing perspective on life. he knows what's important and he knows when to make a big deal of something and when to just let things go. we're both still learning. every day i think. but we always have each others back.
people can talk all they want, but i just can't deny how much better my life has been since he has been a part of it. I've learned so much about myself, and about what life is really about. of course i've made lots of mistakes, but it has only worked to make me better. we've definitely had our share of hurdles, but honestly, it has only made us grow closer, not farther like i think a lot of people would prefer.
on to the important things, like how he got me addicted to lifesaver mints (the green bag) and raised my affinity for reeses. oh and how i now own sweatpants (he helped me pick out my first pair). and of course the ever-growing love of new places to eat, like on the border and taco bell (just because he loves mexican food and looks like a mexican does not mean that he is one....although sometimes i wonder).
all the hours on the phone and all the money put into being able to see each other. it's all priceless to me. I know i can't live off of love, but i certainly can't live without it.
looking back to this day so long ago, after going through so much, it's fun to reminisce about the time when we were so innocent - we had no idea what life was going to bring us. we were just two kids who became friends and then wanted more. we didn't know what saying "i love you" would amount to a year later. all the hard things we would go through. all the fun times we would have. how much our love would grow through it all. the changes and moves that would be made so that we could be together. we just didn't know. i don't know where i'm going with this.... all i can say is that i love him so much more than i did (or even thought possible) in December of 2009. and i even love him more than i did when i wrote this, last December.
about one year ago jantz and i were sitting in my car talking. and he decided on this moment to tell me he loved me. when he got up the courage to tell me he loved me. i cannot tell you how excited i was to say it back. it was a scary feeling i thought i recognized, but this time it was different. it was so much better. and the year that has followed has only made manifest over and over again how very special and amazing love is. and how very special and amazing he is. he has, time and time again, exceeded my expectations. he had to work extra hard to get me on the same page he was; i was sure he was just like every other guy.
i'm so grateful for his love. he truly is my very best friend. i swear he knows me better than i do. he's so observant. really, he remembers everything. i'm grateful for his ability not to judge people at face value. he really does have an amazing perspective on life. he knows what's important and he knows when to make a big deal of something and when to just let things go. we're both still learning. every day i think. but we always have each others back.
people can talk all they want, but i just can't deny how much better my life has been since he has been a part of it. I've learned so much about myself, and about what life is really about. of course i've made lots of mistakes, but it has only worked to make me better. we've definitely had our share of hurdles, but honestly, it has only made us grow closer, not farther like i think a lot of people would prefer.
on to the important things, like how he got me addicted to lifesaver mints (the green bag) and raised my affinity for reeses. oh and how i now own sweatpants (he helped me pick out my first pair). and of course the ever-growing love of new places to eat, like on the border and taco bell (just because he loves mexican food and looks like a mexican does not mean that he is one....although sometimes i wonder).
all the hours on the phone and all the money put into being able to see each other. it's all priceless to me. I know i can't live off of love, but i certainly can't live without it.
looking back to this day so long ago, after going through so much, it's fun to reminisce about the time when we were so innocent - we had no idea what life was going to bring us. we were just two kids who became friends and then wanted more. we didn't know what saying "i love you" would amount to a year later. all the hard things we would go through. all the fun times we would have. how much our love would grow through it all. the changes and moves that would be made so that we could be together. we just didn't know. i don't know where i'm going with this.... all i can say is that i love him so much more than i did (or even thought possible) in December of 2009. and i even love him more than i did when i wrote this, last December.
2 comments:
as long as you can make trials and hardships bring you closer, you will always be happy no matter what. James and I had our struggles too - but I grew so much during that time, that although it wasn't the best path, I don't think I would trade it. I love who I am with James as it sounds like you love who you are with Jantz. and that's how it should be. I'm so happy for you and so excited for you guys. can we please PLEASE be BFFS when you return as marrieds?!!? ok. deal.
Good luck this week!!!
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